Tips for Parents

  • Accept your child as being unique and wonderful. Avoid giving your child the impression that you’d prefer him or her to be a different way.
  • Focus and build on your child’s strengths. 
  • Don’t criticize or punish your child for being shy or quiet.
  • Give up any guilt you may feel. If you’re reading this book, chances are you’re taking constructive action if needed.
  • Also remember that good parents make time for their marriage.

Six Steps to Encouraging Your Child

You can't change your child's temperament. If your child is naturally cautious and quiet, you're not going to transform him or her into a gregarious extrovert, and that's OK. Parents can, however, exert a positive influence on their children in terms of how they feel about themselves. You can encourage your child in a way that says, "You're wonderful," and, "It's OK to take some risks." Here are six steps to guide you.

Step 1: Start from a position of acceptance.
Step 2: Support your child by listening and identifying feelings.
Step 3: Give your child permission to go at his or her own pace.
Step 4: Break the event into small, manageable pieces.
Step 5: Remind your child about past successes.
Step 6: Give it time.



Painfully Shy by Barbara Markway, Ph.D., and Gregory Markway, Ph.D.